Inside: Science tells us that speaking our thoughts, fears and desires out loud to somebody is powerful. There are a thousand good excuses for you not to see a therapist. But just for a second, take the time to think about all the things you prioritise over your mental health. Is binge watching Netflix or having that second glass of wine really making you feel like the best version of yourself? Here’s the most surprising reason you need therapy.
We live in a world that tells us if we work hard enough, our wellbeing will catch up and we will find contentment. If we download the right App, meditate frequently, go to a yoga class and lean on our friends for support, then our mood and habits will all fall into place and we will be happy. Because of this impossible expectation, we beat ourselves up when we feel anxious for no reason or aren’t embarking on each day with vigour and enthusiasm.
Science tells us that speaking our thoughts, fears and desires out loud to somebody is powerful. Therapists are trained to be impartial, non judgemental and strictly confidential. They assist you to tap into your unconscious, observe persistent patterns and cycles of behaviour, acknowledge disowned parts of yourself, develop new insights, and contemplate change.
So if you’re not sure making a therapy appointment is right for you, here are seven reasons that you might benefit from a little therapy action. Make sure you read right to the end to discover the gold.
You always assume the worst and feel like you can’t control your emotions.
Of course some people are more emotional than others, and that doesn’t necessarily mean they need therapy. But if you feel like you can’t stop crying or control your anger, you may need to work with someone who can help you gain more emotional control. Because our society prefers to talk about positive emotions, we often don’t have a clue about how to deal with some of the bigger emotions like sadness or guilt. As a result, we often push these feelings aside and hope they will go away. When we do that, we run the risk of an explosion taking place, which may present as feeling irritable or angry at random times.
You have physical symptoms that medical tests can’t explain.
If you’ve been checked out medically and the cause of your symptoms are still unexplained, stress, anxiety or depression may manifest itself in the form of a wide range of physical ailments, from a chronically upset stomach to musculoskeletal pain.
You consistently take responsibility for other people’s problems.
While some people manage their fears by avoiding responsibility, some of us try to control others. You may seem like the stable one taking your depressed mother’s phone calls a dozen times a day, but being a successful adult is about not doing for others what they can do for themselves.
A therapist can help you identify a pattern of over functioning in your own family and what triggers you to take on someone else’s load.
You feel stuck where you are.
If you feel like you’re stuck in a place you don’t want to be, and can’t figure out how to fix it, you may need to seek professional help. This could include an unhappy relationship, continual conflict at work or a constant low mood.
You’re using a substance to cope
If you find yourself drinking or using drugs in greater quantities or more often, or even thinking about them more frequently, these could be signs that you’re hoping to numb feelings that should be addressed. That substance could even be food. Changes in appetite can be another sign that all is not well. Both over-eating or not wanting to eat could be signs that you are dealing with stress or struggling with the desire to look after yourself.
Your friends have told you they’re concerned.
Sometimes friends can notice patterns that are hard to see from the inside, so it’s worth considering the perspective of those around you. If anybody in your life has said something along the lines of “Are you talking to anybody about this?“ or “Are you doing okay? I’m worried about you”, that’s a sign that you should probably take their advice.
Finally and most importantly……….You’re human.
People with spotless teeth still go to the dentist, so why shouldn’t we take our mental health just as seriously? If you find yourself in a turmoil-free stage of life, then this might be the time you’re actually most receptive to working with a therapist. Taking the jumbled mess of thoughts that are always in your head or examining those parts of you that seem to be absent and speaking them out loud, may keep minor symptoms and unhealthy behaviours from spiralling into something more serious, when times get stressful.
There are a thousand good excuses for you not to see a therapist. But just for a second, take the time to think about all the things you prioritise over your mental health.
So take a chance on therapy, and see what it can do for you. Who knows, maybe you’ll find a trick or two on how to be a little kinder to yourself. Or maybe you’ll find that you already possess the answers, you just needed a little help uncovering them.
